Sexual frustration can manifest itself in wild and crazy ways, but one man has channeled his excessive libido into an altogether more structured release.

Below is a picture of the spreadsheet an unsatisfied husband sent his wife that listed all the excuses she had given for not wanting to play a game of hide the sausage. Unfortunately for our Excel Romeo, the stunt backfired when the aggrieved wife posted the picture on Reddit, causing it to go viral within hours.

Sexy spreadsheet…

The user, throwwwwaway29, wrote on the social community site: “My husband sent me an immature, inflammatory email as I was driving to the airport for a 10-day work trip. I opened it and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. According to his “document”, we’ve only had sex three times in the last seven weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part.”

Communication is the key to a successful marriage, or so say they say. And while the husband’s very organised approach to tackling the problem is admirable, this 21st Century attempt at foreplay is seemingly not going to work. Indeed, most marriage counsellors would probably admit that sending a passive aggressive email with an attached spreadsheet is not going to be best the way to initiate a bit of hanky panky. After all, nothing says sexy like tabular software!