The Ukip cookbook guides you through the minefield that is what to eat as a Ukip supporter.

Really fancy a croissant for breakfast? No! You can’t! Replace that pathetic EU-subsidised excuse of a breakfast with a full English, and if you’d forgotten how to cook one, just use grease!

Comedy writers James Harris and Mark Blakewill have worked together to produce a hilarious unofficial Ukip cookbook that isn’t actually a cookbook at all.

The book instead takes a satirical look at the political party continuously hitting the headlines.

Released under the fictitious character Nigel Sewage, the comedy writers have previously worked on Horrible Histories and Russell Howard’s Good News.

The tongue in cheek book is written from “the perspective of a UKIP-supporting, Europe-hating Little Englander”.

The writers explained: “Not only is the book a backhanded compliment to foreign food, it’s also an opportunity to laugh at the severe limitations of British cuisine.”

Featuring vetoed food items such as taramasalata and pizza, the book recommends a British alternative, including a Scotch egg and a Ploughman’s lunch. The comedic writings use the book to poke a little bit of fun at the views of Ukip and its supporters.

The comedy duo raised funds for the project on Kickstarter and say that the book is an ideal gift for someone who doesn’t hate being part of a multicultural society within Europe.

A tiny spud that has been passed down through family members for 60 years has been declared as the world’s oldest ever potato.

Deborah Skipper’s gran – Alice Hancock – initially kept the potato as a good luck charm, and then passed it down to her son, Alan.

In 2004, Alan gave the tater to his daughter Deborah, 58, who has kept it ever since.

The family heirloom, which is now around the size of a penny, has survived for six decades.

Although initially quite a small potato, time has taken its toll, leading to it shrinking down to its current state.

Deborah said that she had known of the aging potato’s existence even at childhood, as her gran used to carry it around with her everywhere she went, first in her apron and later in her purse sat alongside a horseshoe charm.

She explained: “Nan kept it as it was part of a very good crop in the vegetable garden that year.

“She was very superstitious and saw it as a good luck charm for the future.”

She added that she would look after the treasured petite vegetable as her gran once did, until it was time to hand down the family heirloom and lucky charm to her daughter, Gemma.

Have you ever looked at Jennifer Lawrence and thought to yourself ‘she looks good enough to eat’?

Well one lady has, but rather than dismiss this as a fleeting thought, she went to the extreme of making her thoughts a reality, baking a life-sized Jennifer Lawrence cake.

The to scale creation is the brainchild of British baker Lara Clark, 28.

No stranger to larger than life baking, Ms Clark is known around the world for her Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow cake, which made headlines last year.

She entered the 5 ft 5 in crisped rice cake to the Cake International event, and won herself the top prize in the decorative exhibit contest.

And this year she has gone one better, not only creating a 5 ft 10 in Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen from Hunger Games sponge cake but also a second offering depicting Game of Thrones character Tyrion Lannister.

The 28-year-old said: “People said my crisped rice Johnny Depp cake wasn’t a proper cake, so I wanted to show them I could make a life-sized sponge cake.”

The creations took two and a half months to complete, but Ms Clark was rewarded for her efforts, taking first and second place in the competition.

Ms Clarke said the win was “hugely exciting”, but that she would now need “long lie down”, the BBC reported.